Monday, March 23, 2009


Being the germ-phobe that I am, this hiney has never actually touched a toilet seat in a public restroom. I have, however, gotten very skilled at the hover. Ladies are ya with me on the hover? So, this was a fine way to carry out my business, but now everybody has those damn auto-flush toilets and they are totally screwing up the hover. Evidently, they flush when there isn’t anything in front of the sensor. Depending on the size of the stall and what I’m wearing there is a lot more leaning forward required to keep any part of my person or attire from touching any part of the stall or floor, which causes a premature flush. Now everybody knows that there is a fine spray that is erupted from a flushing toilet. Am I going to take the chance of getting sprayed by public toilet water? Hell no! So then I have to stop and waddle forward to avoid the mist. Then I have to back up and finish the job. Man that’s a pain. I was totally o.k. with flushing with my foot.