Saturday, October 17, 2009

criminal activity

I'm a theif. I've stolen city property and used it for my own personal gain.
I recently paid a visit to my local library, a place I often visit and am well known.They trust me there.They think think I'm a decent person.

I checked out a few books, nothing too heavy in either the literal or figurative sense, and the latest issue of Real Simple magazine.

And that's where I went off course, turning my life and the lives of my loved ones into a mockery of everything that is good in this world.

After scanning my choices and printing my due date receipt the librarian bid me good day, never guessing that I would be the kind of library patron who would go home, open the slick pages of Real Simple magazine and tear out the $1.00 off the regular purchase price of any Up&Up brand product of $3.00 or more coupon and use it to buy disinfectant wipes comparable to Clorox brand wipes, not to be used at the library but in her own home.

Do I use the wipes? Everyday. I use them to keep my family's home germ-free amd lemony scented. I hope the people I love never know the depths I have stooped to to keep them healthy, with a refreshing citrus scent.
It was the city's magazine. It was the city's coupon. And I used it for myself. No amount of disinfectant wipes will ever clean up my dirty, dirty secret. I will live with this shame for at least three more days. Then I'm guessing I will be out of wipes.



However...
I AM a multi-town library card carrier...lookout Waukeeeee...

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